Discovering Who We Really Are 

Stefanie Miller 

Notes to Myself

We go through our life forming our identity and projecting who we believe we are based on the roles we play and the things we do. We identify our worth based on the amount of money we earn, what we have in our bank account and the status of our living conditions. We may identify ourselves by the type of car we drive, the neighborhood we live in and the material objects we possess. We further identify who we are based on the work we do: our job/career choice, hobbies, talents, gifts or skills. Whether we are married, single, or in a relationship may further define the way we are perceived. Our role as a parent is another defining role. There are those who identify themselves with their beauty, good looks, style and image.

We have been conditioned to buy into our culture's standards. There are many ways we tend to label who we are based on what we do or whom we think we are. We can also judge the appeal or lack of appeal we feel for others based on the way we perceive them, both at face value and the energy they project.

When someone asks us about ourselves we can rattle off all of our defining attributes, accomplishments, and skills. We can seemingly explain away who we believe we are by who we project ourselves to be. Is it really that simple to do? We are so much more than the mere roles we play.

When someone asks me to tell a little bit about myself I don't even know where to begin. It seems too simplistic. I am a mother, but my son is now a teenager and doesn't need me the way he used to. My role is changing and I have to readjust how I identify with it. I am a teacher. It is what I do but it is not who I am. I love children, teaching and learning but I am so much more than my career. I can conjure up an endless list of the things I like and do not like; my interests, hobbies and beliefs. There are so many ways that I can present who I am.

I can no longer answer that question so easily anymore. I know I am a thousand times more than I can put into words. I tend to not ask others about themselves anymore. I feel that you learn about someone and get to know who he or she is just by being with him or her. When we take the time to get to know others and ourselves we discover the true essence of a person.

We are in a time of massive change. Things are shifting within us and around us at a record speed. We are excavating all the old fears, insecurities, patterns, belief systems and doubts that we have held within our consciousness, and cellular memory and they are being purged with or without our permission. We can no longer hold onto the old roles we have identified with. It is far too limiting for who we really are. We are being challenged and pushed outside of our comfort zones in order for us to grow and change.

We prayed for change and now we are getting it. There is no need to be fearful this process is leading us to really go deep and discover our true identity and how capable we really are. When we surrender to the process it goes so much more smoothly and easily. All is really in divine and perfect order.

There are many people losing their job, businesses, or investments. For those individuals who identified their self worth and value in this way are finding that they can no longer maintain that persona any longer. It has been seemingly ripped out from underneath them. They had no choice but to surrender the security of everything that they know and depended upon. It is very difficult and frustrating to be in this position with little or no security. The only thing we can depend on is our trust that God will provide everything that is necessary. It seems we have to lose almost everything in order to discover what we really need to be looking for. Once we can surrender to this process and trust that all will be taken care of I truly believe things will be returned to us tenfold.

Relationships are also going through a major upheaval. The way we related to others is being restructured. Relationships that are not healthy can no longer sustain the changes that are happening. We are being drawn to people and situations that are loving, kind and authentic. There is no more room in our lives to continue old, unhealthy, unproductive patterns of relating to one another. Our relationships need to be based on mutual respect and open communication. The changes that we are longing for in our world affect how we relate in all of our relationships including romantic partnerships, family dynamics, friendships, co-workers, and the public. When we discover who we really are, we only want to give and receive that which honors us.

I see that once we place less of an importance on what we have, what we do and whom we're with, we can find comfort and meaning in what's really important. We will discover we can live much more fulfilled on much less than what we thought we could. I feel we have complicated our lives with so much "stuff".

We have to surrender our ego to God's will. Our ego tells us that we are only good enough when we are successful. When things don't turn out the way we planned how do we maintain our inner serenity and self worth? We are being challenged into letting go of our preconceived ideas. We truly need to redefine what success really is.

We are being stripped of the illusions that define us. We are being forced to relinquish everything we thought we knew and everything we thought we needed on every level. Our physical possessions are being taken, our security is being challenged, emotional issues are coming to the surface, relationships are being examined and restructured, and the way we thought things to be have to be reevaluated. I haven't met a person yet that isn't being challenged on one level or another during this profound time.

The only way to stay in peace and balance is to surrender it all. Feel the feelings than let them go. We really need to just go with the flow and surrender to the moment each second, over and over again. It is important to take deep cleansing breaths to release the fear and anxiety that is bottled up inside of us. It is also imperative to stay in the present moment and not project into the future about what could happen, nor live in the past over what was and could never be again.

There are many things that I want but cannot have. I have to accept the reality of the situation and accept things for the way they are. I express constant gratitude for what I do have. I realize that now is a time to allow the inner workings to do what they need to do. I continue to remind myself that everything is, as it needs to be and that all is well. I am feeling ultra sensitive right now with so many emotions, feelings and thoughts coming to the surface. I continually need to maintain balance and serenity to stay present and connected.

What we don't have, what we are losing, what can never be or no longer is, are things we really didn't need in the first place. We gave permission for grand change on every level. Now that we asked for it, we need to accept the process and know and believe in our hearts that things are happening for a grand reason and purpose. We need to have faith that all is as it should be.

Our illusions are being shattered. Our faith is being tested. Who we thought we were is being redefined. We are changing at the deepest level and evolving. In the process, many feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, and confusion will rise to the surface. These are remnants of the old coming up to be released. We need to honor and love ourselves on all levels. We need to forgive one another, and ourselves for we are human beings after all. We will make mistakes and bad decisions, these things happen. It doesn't need to define us or hold us back from moving forward.

What we do need to remember is that we are spiritual beings having a physical expression. There is absolutely no definition of perfection on either the outside or the inside. We are all creations in the making. We are choosing our paths as they are chosen for us. Letting go of what we thought defined us leaves so much room for us to be who we really are. Once we release the roles that we play, surrender our ego and our will to have things the way we think we want them to be, we allow God to enter and show us who we truly are and how things can really be.

Prayer

Dear God,

I have always identified who I am by what I did. I thought I knew what I wanted and myself. All that is changing now. I release all the ways that I labeled and defined myself. I realize I am so much more than I ever knew.

God, I have a strong will. I have allowed my ego to dictate how I defined myself. I know that my beliefs about what I thought I wanted and needed have gotten me into endless trouble.

I surrender my illusions and choose to be awake and aware.

Please show me who I really am and what I really need. I choose to be content and happy with what I have.

I accept what is being taken from me since it no longer serves its purpose.

I have gratitude for what is being given to me since it will benefit my needs.

I trust and have faith that all is in Divine and perfect order and that all is as it should be.

I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

I allow Your vision of me to manifest in my life.

And so it is.

Amen.

 

Posted By A Magical World  on Nov 9th, 2008