Letting Go 

Diane Wing 

Letting Go


Life can be tumultuous or peaceful. It Is up to the individual to choose peace for herself. The focus one places on various aspects of a situation and the amount of importance that is placed upon each facet determines the affect it will have for the individual. We can choose to perceive a situation as positive or negative, depending on the perspective that is taken.

How each person views the cycles of relationships, situations, and lifetimes determines whether the person will be centered and open to the lessons inherent in all experiences or closed to the bigger meaning through emotional strife created by a negative perspective. Looking at it from a return-on-investment perspective, it takes more energy to be angry and to stay upset than it does to let go of the emotional reaction. The act of letting go is a process of gradual release of the intensity of the situation. A sense of lightness accompanies the discharge of negative responses.

Once the body can calm itself from the chemicals released by the brain in stressful situations, the sense of calm can open the mind to other possibilities and others ways to view the situation. Sometimes it only takes a small window of inner peace to attain enlightenment into the meaning and purpose behind every interaction.

A common example would be a circumstance where one person no longer wants to be in a relationship with another and the one who is being left tries to hold on to that person. A huge amount of energy is spent by the person who wants to maintain the relationship to do so against the will of another. It also drains the energy of the person it is directed toward. The one who acts against the will of another is not only standing in someone else’s path, but also is also hurting oneself. Rather than focusing on what it was in the relationship that was lacking, focus on the actions of the self to understand the need to focus so strongly on a person who is no longer interested in continuing the relationship. Was there hope that the other person would be a rescuer? Perhaps the need is identity by association. The person may fear being alone. There are hundreds of possibilities. But until the one being left can focus all of her energy onto herself to decipher the lessons in the situation, the attainment of self-understanding will be delayed.

To hang on to another person indicates a lack of something within oneself. Strive to gain understanding into your actions. Understand why you are angry. Was it that the situation made you feel rejected and unimportant? Consider that it is something inside of you that is lacking. Discover what it is. No one can make us feel one way or another. We have control over that. We can work from a place of emotion and choose to be angry. We can separate ourselves from the discourse and consider the situation objectively. It is by personal choice that we remain held back and lacking. The other person was in your life to bring it to light so that it could be dealt with. It is not the fault of the other that you have chosen to stay locked in a gridiron of resentment, hate, and hurt. To expend precious energy toward someone in order to bring that person down the way you feel they did to you is wasteful. Instead, choose to be positive, wish the person well, and let go of all emotionality associated with it. Do not maintain self-thought patterns of who was right or wrong. Truly and completely let your hold on the old be removed.

Open to what is wanted from the person who left. Ask what must be done now to enrich your own life. What is it that is missing from your life? Change your perspective on the situation. What positive aspect is held within the outcome? See yourself functioning wonderfully well without the other person.

Once you are able to let go of that which is no longer appropriate to your path, you create a void, which can be filled in many positive ways. Allow yourself the peace that can be yours. Take advantage of this time of growth and release and see all the marvelous options available to you.

- Copyright 2005, Diane Wing

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Posted By Forest Witch  on Dec 10th, 2005